miami-tea: The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!  JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
“Fuck you and Fuck her too.”
When they tell me, “Only highlight the important parts” baby-carloss: (Source: hoetown, via sarabibliomania)

When they tell me, “Only highlight the important parts”

baby-carloss:

(Source: hoetown, via sarabibliomania)

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